Requiem - Page 2
From Griffith REVIEW Edition 13: The Next Big Thing
© Copyright Griffith University & the author.
Written by Shane Strange
AFTER THE MADRID BOMBING, STRANGE GOES ABOUT his normal life while taking care of the business of arranging Fresneda's affairs under the direction of his sister. Often, the whole business seems unreal: he has to check himself to see whether he really exists.
He follows the news of the bombing assiduously on the television and in print. He becomes frightened by the nature of the attack and fascinated by the genius of it. As more news comes to hand about the attacks, he explores the internet for details of terrorist operations, for bomb-making techniques. He buys a map of Madrid, to pinpoint the location of the bombing. He puts the map on his kitchen wall, with a black circle around Atocha station. He feels that he can protect himself with facts.
At night he often dreams of Fresneda, exploding into pieces on the platform of a railway station, following each piece of his body as it makes its way through the air.
Increasingly, in his waking life, Strange imagines that he is being followed, that his phone calls are being listened to. He begins to vary his routine on a daily basis, to carefully inspect his mail before opening it. On the street, he is cautious of people looking him in the face. He takes to noting down his movements for the day in a notebook.
Strange has dreams of blood, of being locked in a room and of being tortured – of torturing Fresneda, of following him down the streets of Madrid or, because he has never been to Madrid, down what he imagines to be the streets of Madrid. In his dreams he follows Fresneda, watching his every move and noting it down.
Strange takes time off work.
On his kitchen wall now is not only the map of Madrid, but diagrams of explosive devices, and a map of his own city with red lines indicating the various routes he has walked in the preceding days and weeks.
And then there is the notebook: slowly filling up with the carefully compiled details of his day.
He feels himself in a cocoon of information. He has grown a beard. His skin is pale. He has a lingering sense that anything could happen now.
While sitting in his kitchen one day, Strange considers all these things and it dawns on him what he must do.
STRANGE BEGINS TO WRITE A STORY – a document of his friend in these dangerous times. He feels strongly that this story must be told. As he writes the story in his notebook, he realises that it will be more than that. For the story becomes in a sense a list of facts, the facts of his own life, the facts that have turned into the story that, in turn, has dissolved the facts. It will be a purging of all that has burdened him.
He writes for one week, and each word releases him. His horrific dreams recede into nothingness. He tears down the maps from the kitchen wall and burns them. As he fills his notebook, he feels that he is at last doing something, even if only for himself.
On the final night, he dreams of the ocean and when he wakes in the morning, he realises he must do as his friend asked him. He must go to the high cliff overlooking the ocean. He will take his notebook and read it there. He will board the bus to go to the ocean to do as he has been asked. ♦