Bonus - Page 4
From Griffith REVIEW Edition 22: MoneySexPower
© Copyright Griffith University & the author.
Written by Rachel Robertson
HOW OLD WILL I BE WHEN you die?' asks Ben. We have just driven past Fremantle Cemetery and I suppose this has triggered his question.
‘Well, we don't know, Ben. But I'm hoping to live for quite a while yet!'
‘If you die when you are eighty, I will be ... umm ... forty-four.'
‘That's right, yes,' I agree.
‘But, who will look after me when you die?'
‘Well, you might be able to look after yourself then. Forty-four is quite old.' Ben looks unconvinced but makes no comment.
The notion of death has changed for me. I can no longer contemplate that I may ever die. Like thousands of other mothers across this country, I have no faith that my son will be cared for without me. I look at the most vulnerable people in our society and I see that we fail them miserably. What is to be done?
‘Mum,' says Ben, ‘when you die, I'll make a plaque for you, like in the cemetery.'
‘That's nice. What will it say?'
‘Your name and the dates you were born and died and suchlike.'
‘Oh, yes. Anything else?' I ask. He thinks for a moment.
‘She was a good mother. Sadly missed. RIP. RIP means rest in peace,' Ben explains.
‘Great. I like that, Ben. And where will this plaque go, I wonder?'
‘Remember when we buried the hermit crabs?' asks Ben.
‘Yes, in the garden, wasn't it?'
‘Yes, I think you'll go with them, in the compost bin. And the plaque will go on top.'
I can't help laughing at this. It's the story of my life; here am I agonising about life and death while Ben cuts straight to the chase. I will end up in the compost bin eventually, however much this worries me. In the meantime, I'm touched that he intuitively grasps my attempt to be a good mother – not a fantastic mother or a super-mum or a special mother of a special child, but just a ‘good enough' mother.
‘Mum,' says Ben, ‘when we get home, we might play with the Thomas the Tank Engines.'
‘Good idea, Ben. I'd like to do that.'
There is always the Island of Sodor, where steamies are Really Useful, diesels are naughty and the Fat Controller is king. ♦/* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}