IF ASKED THEN why I had not returned to London I could have – would have – given several clear reasons that, looking back, I recognised as mere rationalisations; transient structures of thought that clear a space for some deeper instinct or intuition to do its work. I didn’t go back because it felt right not to; because some inchoate resistance – some feeling that didn’t need a name and would never acquire one – welled up in my chest and said stay.

Sometimes you just did things. You surprised even yourself.