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Edition 59


A Commonwealth dictionary

If a Sovereign is a gold coin worth one pound sterling, then The Crown is something you put on your teeth when the rot has hollowed them out.


If Dominion is a deck-building card game rewarding long-term strategy and forward-planning, then Territories are the worst form of conservative government.


If a Citizen is an urban form of Buddhism, then Multilateralism is a state of many people shuffling their feet sideways at the same time.


If Republic is to revert from a situation of privacy, then Decolonisation is the act of emptying your bowels.


If God Save the Queen is a valid strategy to prevent point accumulation in a round of Hearts, then Jerusalem is two-parts cultural appropriation and one-part Dark Satanic Mills and Boon.


If Cricket is a stiff feeling in your neck due to impaired metabolism of vitamin D, phosphorus or calcium, then Received Pronunciation is wrong address return to sender.


If The Sun Never... Read more

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From Griffith Review Edition 59: Commonwealth Now © Copyright Griffith University & the author.

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